Love at
first sight turned out to be true in case of Hasan. After a few hours of his
birth I went to see his mother due to family relations. I could not divert my
eyes as soon as I glanced at him. Since that time Hasan became a necessity of
my eyes and heart. That time he had no power to speak but I felt his whole
being uttered words above meanings. It
was always my effort that Hasan should live with me as much as possible
and I took all his responsibilities upon me. Although there was no monetary
prosperity in the family yet Hasan’s grandfather
was generous and he worked hard to bring his habit into practice which was
fruitful to some extent. If I felt a little agony in Hasan’s cry my peace would
have never remained with me. Hasan was the first child of second generation of
the family because of which he was centre of attraction for everyone. But my
infatuation for him had been up and above the affection of all. Just to extend
serenity of his company I would take Hasan along for hours and hours together for
stroll. A Yearly function was celebrated in the family. I got stiched one Kurta
suit for me and one for Hasan of the same cloth. When I saw Hasan dressed up a
wave of emotion ran in me which gave me inner and undescribable joy. I made it
a way to add dress for Hasan with my own same cloth and same pattern especially
on occasions and festivals. I enjoyed that sweet link. When Hasan was only
eight months old 14th Feb came and I declared Hasan as my valentine and
celebrated the day with him. I composed a poem reflecting my feeling for an
infant Local edition of HT made it a news with appreciation of my unique love
approach and published the whole poem.
If Hasan was
not well life and its commitments became meaningless for me. I tried to obtain
best medical advice and care. When he was well then only I looked to the other
responsibilities.
Gradually
people around Hasan began to realise that my interferance was adversly
effecting their rights. To pull on normal relationship with such kind of people
is not easy. Often affairs related to Hasan became bone of contention. My heart
had no courage to break asunder relationship with Hasan. I gathered all my
power of endurance. I bore arrogance,
and disrespect. This endurance was taken as my weakness. The colours of selflessness
began to darken by the black smoke coming out of swart within. Slowly but
surely time increased the age of Hasan. He started going to school. I planned
in me possibilities of his higher studies which may bring out bright future and
career. It was not wise on my part to think like that. Darkness is always there
to hinder the light. I doted upon pranks of Hasan and that was enough. I called
him chand (moon) Kaleja (base of life) Gudda (Doll) and words expressing love
but have no meaning - needed no meaning. He used to look at me while I called
him with mentioned syllables when he crossed six months of his age. Since that
age my voice became familiar to him. He would look at me as if understanding
well all what I said. A different image of me was developed in his mind.
Chand (moon)- why did’nt you phone
yesterday.
Kaleje- divert fan towards you. Its
very hot.
I was not
uttering these words to Hasan, not at all. I was saying all that to Danish. As
soon as I met him my emotions for Hasan merged into Danish. It happened because
what I imagined about Hasan as a youth I found in Danish in the very first
meeting. He met by chance or by unseen planning of nature. I believed that this
ocurred because the time was nearing when I was bound to snape asunder my
relations with Hasan and for this grim situation mental separation was but
necessary. Danish had every attribute which Hasan possessed- The same
innocence, the same delicate voice and the same bright eyes full of
expressions. Danish was free from any selfish interest. Danish developed that
kind of attachement which I longed to get from Hasan but possibility of which
was very dim because Hasan was made by that clay which was adultrated by
grinded stones which barred the fertility of the soil.
The people who
have taken upon them the task of character building of Hasan never knew the
same.
That day a
very simple incident became the cause of the abstention from Hasan. His mother
on some pretex beat Hasan badly. She was ignorent of the fact that voilence produces
voilence and thus a revolting mind is made up, Things became bad to worse. I
decided thousand times to delink my relation with them but never practically
did. Time came at this juncture and brought firmness in me. Thereafter it was I
who heard that Hasan suffered chiken pox but I kept thorough watch on my
emotions and did not hand over my pledge to my sentiments. Danish held my hands
so softly and so vehemently that I was treading on the path of reason. He has
replaced no one but has given edge to his relationship by himself. Danish also
talked beyond his age as Hasan did he scattered pearls in shape of words. It
dumbfounded me. Surprise, sheer surprise- such tender age and such expression.
Danish penetrated my heart in such a way that nothing remained there expect
Danish. He was a mataphor of rapture of dawn,
softness of moonlit night, intoxication of morning wine, warmth of
glorious sun, hilarity of prime of flowers, storm of love and so on. The face
of Danish super imposed that of Hasan. He drifted apart every grief from my
life and filled it with pleasures.
I told him
details of my relations with Hasan- how I would take him along on rikshaw for
pleasure trip to Good bakery which was his pet place whence he could buy things
of his own choice. Danish heard it with great care and suggested me not to
punish the innocent child of the faults of the elders. Hasan will have no
option but to wring his heart. He showed his fear that one day I will do the
samething to him as well. ‘Would you step with me upon the path the tender
feelings. Do you pledge to remain as loving as you are’ Danish asked a question
the answer of which lies in the love I charish for him. All what Danish said
reflected his intelligence which was much higher than of mine. His thoughts were
remarkable.
It was
drizzling that day. As a routine I was sitting at the shop of Hilal- my cousin
and friend. The place for me was like a drawing room where I sat and conversed
with even my acquaintances Hilal liked my sitting there and made me stay as
long as possible. I asked leave as I had to purchase some items from Good
bakery. I was excused.
I walked slowly and reached almost
near- I fidgetted then-
Oh! - what
is this ? How it happened ?
Danish was lovingly getting down
Hasan from rikshaw with extreme closeness. With small steps as small as Hasan’s
he entered Good Bakery.
The sum of three internal angles of
triangle is equal to two right angles.
Suhail Kakorvi
Lucknow.
|
Post a Comment